just me...what'd you expect?

Fear.

2004-05-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

What is fear?
The dictionary has a few definitions of fear:
- A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
- A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.
- A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
- Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
- A reason for dread or apprehension: Being alone is my greatest fear.

With the situation the world is in now, it is important to understand fear and what makes us feel it. It is important to understand the different types of fear and why it is easy to let it control our lives.

To get started exploring this subject, I'd like to take a look at our first definition: A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. This is the main problem facing us right now. We have many enemies around the world and they are all ready to takethe next step - another attack on American soil. Bush announced that this attack is supposed to happen sometime this summer, within the next couple of months. To me, its just a bunch of blibber-blabber from a government that knows how to do just that - blibber blabber. Now, I know that the chances of this attack are actually frightfully high, but I am not going to let someone else control the way I live. I am not going to give the terrorists what they want...which is to have us live in endless fear for our lives, not knowing if there is a man down the street strapped with 5 lbs of C-4.

Now I would like to take a look at another definition - Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power. This is a perfect example of government. The government likes total power and the ability to manipulate some else to live how the government wants them to live. The government wants to be a safety blanket so they tell us what we have to fear so they can look good...not to mention that it will make people listen to the government more. Check it out, we live in fear and our government has all the answers. Its a pretty good idea to keep people in line. Make it so we can't make our own decisions and feel safe with them.

What do we do about fear?
Well, the best thing to do is try not to fear anything. I understand that its hard to control sometimes, but it will only upset your life if you have fear. Practice turning your fear into curiosity. Ask questions, read books, study up, and try to understand whats going on to make you feel the way you do. Is it really as bad as you think it is?

At the tone....

2004-05-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

I can't stand by any longer and watch our governement throw America away. Its been happening far too long. The constitution being "ratified" over and over. Our civil rights and liberties being taken away and being told that its for our protection. What is the new cost of living in America?

This morning on the way to work, my brother and I were having a conversation that went someting like this:

Ben: "America is the next Russia. The next Germany. The next Japan."
Me: "The next great empire to fall."
Ben: "Yup."

It has become apparent to me that this is true. Looking back, we have learned that history repeats itself...yet, we haven't learned how to stop making those same mistakes. Why is this? Power. I forget who said it, but they were right: absolute power corrupts absolutely. With each system that seems to work (for the government anyway), there comes the belief that it needs to be spread. How to go about this? Well, we could always find a good reason to start a war, occupy a country, and tell them that if they don't like the system then they can go to prison. Nope, thats a really bad idea that would never work. Oh, look, Iraq's on the new again.

Our government has done just what other "empires" have done - occupy other countries and change their system to ours. However, we have found a good way to cover up the truth...we call it "the war on terror." And since its going to last forever, we need to start sending our nations young out to the battle fields. All of this for the dumbest cause I may have ever heard. A war on terror.

There is no possible way America can put an end to terror. Wherever there is a fanatical crazy person who doesn't like the way you live and the things you stand for, there will always be terror. Why didn't our government try harder to protect us at home and not send all our troops overseas? Why do they call The Patriot Act protection? Its not protection, its physical spyware.

Oh, well, guess I'll call my senator and leave a message.

2004-05-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

Iraq.

Its all over the news. Its burried in our minds. Is it good? Is it bad? Thats for you to decide.

We have our heads in our hands, stuck in an endless state of confusion caused by our "faithful leaders." In the 60's it was the same. They had Vietnam, we have Iraq. Both stupid wars fought with very little "intelligence." Both lasted longer than expected...both caused more problems than solutions. Both are drafts.

I know that the draft has yet to be agreed on, but it has come to light that it could happen as soon as spring 2005 after the 2004 elections. This draft, however, has some differences.

1. Women can now be drafted.
2. The draft age limit is now 34 instead of 24.

"$28 million has been added to the 2004 Selective Service System (SSS) budget to prepare for a military draft that could start as early as June 15, 2005. Selective Service must report to Bush on March 31, 2005 that the system, which has lain dormant for decades, is ready for activation."

$28 million? Woah. Didn't Bush just ask for 24 BILLION more for the war? I guess really nobody gives a damn about the state of our economy. I mean, of course its ok that California is stuck in a MAJOR deficit and that the job market is decreasing day after day. I guess nobody really cares about the state of homeland security or the enviornment. Its ok, we'll just take over a country, get all their oil and lose too many lives to keep track of. Its all ok though, it will end terrorism.

"The pentagon has quietly begun a public campaign to fill all 10,350 draft board positions and 11,070 appeals board slots nationwide.. Though this is an unpopular election year topic, military experts and influential members of congress are suggesting that if Rumsfeld's prediction of a "long, hard slog" in Iraq and Afghanistan [and a permanent state of war on "terrorism"] proves accurate, the U.S. may have no choice but to draft."

I don't know, why don't you make up your own mind. Agree or disagree, just don't close your eyes and hold your blanky.

Should have figured, what can I say?

2004-05-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, its spring time. I think it is anyway, seems the wrold is falling in love with itself. Wait, I think its more of a lust thing. That makes much more sense. Its the time our instincts have their way with us so we have our way with others. I think that "having way with" is actually more suited for sex crimes. Lets stick to "screw" or maybe just "fuck" or even "concentual bliss." Hey, look, that sounds nice - "concentual bliss." Sweet.

Anyway, on to trying to make a point.

Spring time is the time our emotions are high and mixed with the raw power of being in heat. This makes for some pretty interesting moments. Lets take example a) two friends sitting on the couch, watching some chick flick. Now, the dude doesn't really get too emotionally involved in the movie. However, the girl is getting some "strange feelings" inside, turns to look at the dude, and realizes that she could love him. This turns into an "opening up" where the dude is free to make a move. Now, the girl is not one of those to just flat out show shes interested. She waits for eye contact, smiles, and does a side glance. The guy realizes she likes him, moves forward, and kisses her. Suddenly, niether of them is wearing any clothes and they are in eachothers arms the next morning.

I only bring this up because it happened. On my couch. Not to me. Didn't piss me off, didn't make me jealous. It did, however, remind me that I am human and it is spring time. Makes me take a few things into account. I'm not one to just up and have "concentual bliss" with someone else. I like to keep it more on the romantic side. So, I'm the one that needs to get out and meet people...not just go to a bar and have a good time. I'm just REALLY horny right now though...and I don't like it. I don't like to feel that I am using someone (vice versa) just to feel good for a few hours. I want the relationship. Why do I have to get stuck holding myself back just because I feel a little differently about "concentual bliss." I need to just get rid of the guilt and all that bullshit so I can take part in the rituals of spring.

Anyhoot, I think I'll write about something better in a bit. Have fun and remember not to play too hard.

Philosophy or wishful thinking?

2004-05-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to be "enlightened"? Is it defiantly spiritual? Does it take giving up worldly possessions? Can it only be found on a strictly "religious" foundation? I don't think the answer to any of these questions is 'yes'. I do not believe that "enlightenment" has a set definition.

In the Hindu and Buddhist religions, enlightment means to transcend desire and suffering to attain Nirvana. This is a great thing to believe for many people and keeps many lives balanced. However, in order to truly attain Nirvana in these situations is to almost give up free will. Or maybe its just a good way to discipline yourself to use free will accordingly and morally.

In the 18th century there was a movement referred to astheEnlightenment. It emphasized the use of reason to scrutinize previously accepted doctrines and traditions and brought about many humanitarian reforms.

My opinion of "enlightenment" is that it is to share spiritual or intellectual insight with eachother. To give information to; inform or instruct. It is not only to be found on a personal/spiritual level, it is something that needs to be found within society. The people as a whole must become aware of the amazing power we all share with one another - the power of intellect, will, and wisdom. This must be shared world wide to attain a world wide Nirvana. Its just wishful thinking, but isn't that where "enlightenment" came from? Wishful thinking, decision making, and the act of making a difference.

-Chris

Friday.

2004-05-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I am happy about it being Friday...as I am every Friday.
This weekend should be a good one, don't really have anyting planned, but it seems promising enough. Thats one thing I actually hate doing - planning the weekend. Seeing as how I have a plan for every other day, its only fair that I can operate the weekend a bit more spontaneously...makes for a more interesting time. After all, I work 40 hours a week so I should get SOME time to do whatever the hell I please.
Got a new cellphone yesterday, its pretty cool: Keyocera KX414 Phantom. I think thats what it is anyway. Could be something different, but I am looking at it right now and it feels like I am right.
Anyway, later on today I think I may post some poetry and maybe a rant about some shit I've been thinking about. Until then, remember not to tease the ignorant...just makes them naive.

Greetings!

2004-05-20T14:07:00.000-07:00

Alright, heres a little introduction to who I am and whats going to be going on here.

My name is Chris Mayes, I'm 22, and I live in Los Angeles, CA. I work in Monrovia at a place called Poly Enterprises. Most of my free time is spent with friends or just kickin back at my pad...doing something random. I write poetry, have been for about 9 years or so...I think. So, thats what I am going to use this blog for. Its an ego trip. Going to be posting a lot of poetry and some of my opinions on certain issues like: religion, philosophy, politics, music, etc etc.

I hope people will enjoy coming to this blog for my more serious side. If you aren't interested in my serious side, you'll have to view my other blog over at tBLOG - think long.

Thanks, have a good one.

-Chris